Almost a Year

These pictures are from breakfast this morning. Jack was just finishing his cream of wheat and mangoes when Meredith decided to take her monkeys for a walk in the stroller. He was craning his head to see what was going on and she was only too happy to entertain! We call Mere a hoarder because she loves to carry as much "stuff" around as she can. She's always got a bag or container of some sort filled with a random hodge-podge of junk. Case in point: her stroller contained two stuffed monkeys (CD and Mr. Monkey, if you're wondering about their names), some cups, a blue bouncy ball and a dog poop bag. When I asked her why she needed the poop bag (which she requested from our pile in the laundry room near Mia's leash) she told me, "I'm taking my monkeys for a walk. I need a bag in case they poop on the street." Yep, we're raising a responsible and considerate citizen!

As we close out May, I can't believe June is right around the corner. That means that Jack's birthday is two weeks away. Where did the year go? It's hard to believe that last June, he was wearing newborn diapers and sleepers. This year, he's wearing size 5 diapers and muscle shirts. Last summer, no one was allowed to breathe on him or hold him without performing a surgical scrub up to their elbows. This morning, I'm pretty sure he was eating grass out of our neighbor's yard. Last June, I was asking that question that every mom asks before that second baby comes--how will I ever love the second one like I love the first? This June, I know the answer. It's not what people tell you about how you love them just the same. There's no way that works. The truth is you love them differently because they're different people, but you love them with the same intensity. You would lay down your life for that second child just like you would for the first. Jack is a much different person than Meredith is, but they both feed different parts of my soul and make me complete. I learn more about myself every day because I see me through their eyes. What an amazing gift.

As we transition to a family with two toddlers (yikes!), I'm so excited to see what the next year brings. If it's anything like this one, we're in for quite a ride!

Please Don't Feed the Animals

Less than one short year ago, we took these people to the zoo:

What a difference a year makes!

After swimming lessons this morning, we came home, loaded up the wagon, and headed to the zoo. I have finally gotten smart enough to realize that, regardless of the length of time we'll be gone, I should always pack enough snacks to survive for a week in the wilderness. We made it through the zoo in just over an hour and managed to drink two cups of water and eat a granola bar, fruities, goldfish and a few grapes. We may not be able to feed the zoo animals, but feeding our kids keeps the public safe!

Meredith wanted to ride on the new train, so we bought out tickets, waited in line and looked at the roosters. She was totally excited as we boarded the train for our three minute ride in a circle. As we pulled out of the station, she said, "I don't want to do this anymore!" and proceeded to cry for the whole ride. The bright spot was Jack waving every time we came past him--he didn't realize we weren't having fun, I guess. Other than that, the zoo was a huge hit and I'm sure we'll go back again soon. I just can't believe how big these two have gotten since our last visit. Time really does fly.

Jack is now a crawling, pulling-himself-up-on-everything crazy man. He has a nice goose egg on his forehead to prove it. When you couple that with the awful bruise that Mere is sporting on her chin from a collision with the music table at daycare, I'm almost afraid to take them out in public! He has yet another ear infection, so we're trying a last-ditch round of Augmentin before resorting to tubes. The thought of them putting my baby under general anesthesia is enough to make me sick to my stomach, but I guess it beats the alternative of constantly sore ears. I think I've decided Jack's career path: hairdresser at the circus. He's a total daredevil and would probably do very well on the flying trapeze. He also loves hair--on your head, on your arms, on his head, on the dog...you get the idea.

Meredith tripped at daycare on Monday and has a really nasty black bruise on her chin. When I took her in on Thursday, all of her classmates had to come over, poke her chin and tell me about her boo boo. They then all showed me their boo boos. It took me 10 minutes just to get through all of the stories! She has been doing really well with potty training and loves to congratulate all of us for peeing on the potty too. She told me yesterday that, "Daddy did a good job. He peed on the potty like a big girl. I'm so proud of him!"

Here are a few more pictures from the zoo:

The Week After

It's been a week since we said goodbye to Philly and I think we're doing okay. First of all, thank you so very much to our wonderful family and friends for all of the cards, texts, emails and kind words. You have all brought us so much comfort. We picked up his ashes on Tuesday and they are now on the shelf above his bed. As silly as it sounds, I feel a little better having him back at home with us. Mia has been amazing. Every once in a while, we see her wandering around looking for him, but for the most part, she's her happy self. Our neighbor joked that she's like a kid whose older brother just left for college--happy to have the house to herself! Meredith asks about him and now tells people that she has two dogs: "Mia lives at our house and Philly lives in Heaven." Sometimes, the simplest explanations are the best.

Philly

He's gone. My sweet, amazing Philly is gone and I can hardly believe it. He started losing weight a few weeks ago and today, something changed. He stopped eating and was obviously suffering. We went to the vet and found out that he had a large abdominal mass that most likely involved his liver--never a good sign. After weighing our options, we decided not to prolong his suffering and to let him go. Mia, Chris and I held him as he passed.

He had a pretty good day actually. He couldn't eat, but he sunned his belly in the grass, sniffed all of his favorite spots and spent lots of time cuddled up next to me. He layed in the playroom with the kids and walked in the yard with Mia. I know his last day was a good one. We've been telling Meredith that Philly is sick and I told her today that Daddy and I had to take him to the doctor. When Jack gets upset, Mere sings "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" for him. As she and I were talking, she sat down next to Philly and sang "Twinkle Twinkle" for him and said, "There you go Bubba. You not sick anymore." How I wish it would've worked.

Philly and I had a very special bond. He was always by my side. When I took the pregnancy test to find out that we were expecting Jack, Philly was in the bathroom. He knew before Chris did. Even though he weighed almost 90 lbs, he always found a way to curl up on my lap. There are so many wonderful memories and so many quirks that I'll miss. He came as a foster for a week and stayed for almost four years. I worry about Mia--she's lost her constant companion. It kills me that our kids won't remember Philly, but they'll know him. He loved them so much.